Day 13/50: List & Remember Your Reasons – Practical Tip

הַעְתִּ֨ירוּ֙ אֶל־ה’ וְרַ֕ב מִֽהְיֹ֛ת קֹלֹ֥ת אֱלֹקים וּבָרָ֑ד וַֽאֲשַׁלְּחָ֣ה אֶתְכֶ֔ם

Pray to Hashem, and let it be enough of Hashem’s thunder and hail, and I will let you go…

Pharaoh kept getting makos (plagues) until ultimately he was motivated to let the Yiddin go! The key word is MOTIVATED. Making any major change is the same. You need to increase your motivation to a level where in spite of any pleasure the behavior may bring you, you feel that it’s not worth it for you to continue with it, and that it makes sense for you to change.

A great way to boost your motivation, is to make list of all the reasons why you’re committed:

📍 What bothers you most about your current behaviors? 

📍 What will will you gain most if you’re able to minimize or stop these behaviors?

Here are some actual examples of what Bochurim wrote:

⚡“I feel like a slave”

⚡“I am worried in regard to raising a family with such issues”

⚡“I never feel good after!”

⚡“I see older people who are struggling with these issues and I see how it’s ruining their lives and marriages.”

⚡“I WANT TO GET ALL THIS OUT OF MY HEAD, SO I CAN FOCUS ON SHTEIGING HIGHER!!!!!”

⚡“I truly love learning Torah and this is a big thing that holds me back.” 

⚡“These horrible things come to my mind during tefillah and learning which is a big distraction.”

⚡“I feel I’m living a double life, on one side a shtark guy in a shtark yeshivah, on the other somebody who can’t control himself”

⚡“As I get closer to marriage age, I am scared that this will hurt any future relationship I could have.”