Day 43/50: A Bochur’s Avodah

וְעָ֥שׂוּ לִ֖י מִקְדָּ֑שׁ וְשָֽׁכַנְתִּ֖י בְּתוֹכָֽם

And they shall make Me a sanctuary and I will dwell in their midst

Chazal call the makom habris an “eiver chai” (alive) when it is aroused and an “eiver meis” (dead) when it is at rest. Why do Chazal describe the bris in such peculiar terms? Why are the concepts of life and death invoked?

The makom habris has a clear and specific purpose in our lives. The Torah views the intimacy of a husband and wife as a manifestation of kedushah, and it is valued as an expression of true closeness and unity in marriage. It is also the vehicle for bringing precious neshamos into the world, which is the purpose of creation.

In the context of the unique relationship of a husband and wife, the bris must come ”alive” to carry out its shlichus. At all other times, however, it is supposed to remain completely ”dead,” out of the way of our daily activities. That is how the bris was designed to function: as something that is mostly a non-factor, ”dead” in a sense, put away for safekeeping.

A bachur’s only avodah in this area is to try his best to make the makom habris irrelevant to his life by following the halachic guidelines to prevent its arousal. Chazal have taught us that to the extent that we ”deprive” this area and do not give in to our urges, the makom habris itself will feel more ”satisfied” and will pose less of a challenge to us. This is somewhat perplexing, because when a person deprives himself of food, for example, it can cause him to obsess over his hunger and to think about food constantly. The Chasam Sofer explains, however, that Chazal reveal to us with this statement that the makom habris functions differently than the rest of the body, and if a person wishes to be in a state of calm, he can succeed only through self-restraint.

Every success in the avodah of shmiras habris brings with it tremendous siyata d’shmaya for the future. The Steipler zt”l states that every single time a person overcomes a nisayon in the area of shmiras habris he brings awesome kedushah upon himself and the entire world.